Hong Kong Occupy protest- putting it mildly

Hong Kong Occupy Protest- putting it mildly

A week in Hong Kong and what one carried away were pitiful memories of those pro-democracy activist having a last fling at their heavy handed counterparts from the mainland who are trying to ensure that the region merges in to the mainland as is envisaged in the transfer doctrine drafted during the handover of these territories by the British to the Chinese. One feels a little sad for these unfettered fun loving guys being reined in by the heavy duty machinery of the Chinese.

To the many visitors, Hong Kong may be an island that is free from the strappings of political overdrive, a place to be enjoyably ravaged till you drop dead with exhaustion, even expecting a decent and maybe an overdrive of hospitality in its people and its officials. It was therefore expected by me that the people would be courteous to visitors especially of my kind who would be contributing to the national economy, during a few days stay in the island. On the contrary what I experienced was a place which smelled of selfish dignity, a kind of inhospitable attitude that sent a stern message to the visitor reminding him he had made a wrong choice. The taxi drivers are a mean lot who in their eagerness or seemingly eagerness to be in a hurry, do not permit the basic decency of letting the fare get down lock stock and barrel even while collecting the meter fare. He is so damned preoccupied with driving away as quickly as possible that any delay beyond the realms of his pre-planned itinerary is taken to be a waste of his productivity and thereby the Gross Domestic Product of his country. His attitude of speeding away or being in a terrible hurry seemed to me as if he was forced to ferry me even while his kids were shouting their lungs out in the crèche. The attitude seemed like a rebuke, a kind of penance for having let me and my kind in at the first place. One would expect courtesy from a taxi driver as he is the first local contact in any city and offers a first-hand glimpse of the city and its people.

The officials at the immigration counters also lack the basic welcoming, what with a dead pan face you almost wished you weren’t there or you are forced to dislike the city even before you set foot on it. I can understand the immigration officials being tough guys since they have to weed out the unscrupulous elements and thereby pre-empt guises of unwanted guests who are not too bound by rules and have a tendency to jump the law, but it is different to be tough from the inside but sweet and welcoming from outside. You can be very pleasant not allowing to be exacted, without it being shown in your mannerisms. After all their people too travel abroad, I am sure and they wouldn’t want their own to suffer the contempt experienced by visitors to their own country.

The young and middle aged citizens are all focussed on their own business without seeming to be aware of your existence. In any country, a tourist needs to be appreciated by the locals with a nod of the head, or even a distant smile that can radiant a welcome sign, at least a glance of recognition to a fellow human being. The people of Hong Kong did not seem bothered and seemed not wanting to be disturbed out of their sweet slumber of self-consciousness. They were all so engrossed in their own little self-drawn circle of contentment that one could see in their faces a dislike to peep outside their self-drawn boundaries and experience the warmth of human interaction, a feeling of oneness with the human race, a reminder that we were of the same species.

The counter guy sitting in a lone currency exchange cubicle seemed to be keener on protecting himself from the virus in the air than entertaining visitors at his counter. He almost seemed apologetic of the fact that he was made to sit there amidst species that would hurt his self-esteem and health. He wore a half face mask a reminder that he was eager to keep away virus brought in by travellers from different countries along with customers. He seemed to be living under the false notion that it was the customer who needed his services while he and the organisation he represents would survive even if no one called. I wondered aloud whether the guys in half masks should not stay at home or places of no public interaction rather than work in places teeming with public and having to interact within the scope of public service.

Against this background wanting to protect their own bastions even after 17 years of merging into the mainland, not wanting to let go of their self-professed qualities of living, radiating a different hue from the rest of mankind and even of their own brethren from the mainland, reeked of pure arrogance born out of qualities than stem from the proverbial frog living in the well. The Occupy protest exemplified the character of the local Hong Kong resident who is not willing to let go of the present even after the boundaries were redrawn almost two decades ago under the watch of the international community. Refusing to believe that something good can happen with change, letting in a newer viewpoint through the keyhole, jumping out of the well to discover a whole new world can be adventurous too. I did see a contrary viewpoint echoing in some people through their mannerism and action, though it constitutes only a minority as is the case with all arguments, and may be seen only as exception to the rules.

Robin Varghese- robin_vargh@yahoo.com

25^th June 2014

Adios to the night

Adios to the night

As the chill of the night bites deeper into my bones, I lay tucked up in bed waiting for the darkness to melt away into the still of the night, to be enveloped by the first rays of the morning sun like cream poured into a cup of tea, memories come fleeting through the channels of my mind, some that were worth cherishing and some not worth reminiscing. 

The days gone by had knocked on the conscience of my heart, tugged at my purse strings and countered the numerous silent arguments that churned in my mind. Events that had me engaged in rapt attention and happenings that cause me to flinch. I had begun the year chirpier than the past, since the New Year had bought along with it countless possibilities. Numerous and endless avenues seemed to open up promising a smooth road as if riding a racing car on a simulator.

But the agonising pain of dejection and defeat seems like a weight on my chest. The numerous occasions when it seemed so near yet turned out to be far out of reach. The initial enthusiasm turning into anxiety and disbelief, the self-pity that runs in our hearts after having failed to make the mark. The biting cold a reminder of these intense feelings that surface once again and bite with telling effect. Could things have been different? Could they have been done differently? Alas time has fretted away and what I am left with is a hope for the morrow, a morrow that will encapsulate these feelings in the New Year.  They hurt for sure, but at least let me try to purge it into the dark and still night.

However, the sweet memories or deja vu, the numerous occasions that I had exhilarated seemed not far away. The thrill of usurping power in office situations, the sigh of relief at being co-opted into prestigious positions, the warmth of quiet friendships amidst the din and gloom, the reciprocator high fives that went up each time I was able to register myself, and the deep sense of joy at attaining the unimaginable. These moments of happiness refuse to melt away into the darkness or the still of the night.

How about the moments of satisfaction or anguish at events happening around us? What about the moment of triumph? How we felt inwardly content at the happenings, though it did not relate to us directly. The feeling of contentment was a result of alleviation of suffering, of humanity having been the victor, of hopeless situations transgressing the boundaries of inhospitable and bumpy terrain that which seemed out of bounds to the protagonists not so long ago.  Or those moments of anxiety and anguish, would the truth bare out? Would the end be a happy one? Would truth prevail or would goodness go unrewarded?

The thought of death and destruction, so unwanted, so worthless, why did it have to happen? Couldn’t it have been stalled or negated? Why are those chasing death and destruction not for a moment thinking of the human race, why do we have to get into a bitter rage? If only we could have kept it a little under control, if only we could have implemented the numerous tricks taught to us by our peers and elders to keep rage under control. What If I had delayed the inevitable, what if I had tarried a little longer keeping my rage hidden?

The darkness engulfs me and I recede into a slumber leaving the question marks still hanging, but deep inside me knowing that the adios will not end with the passing of this year, it will remain a possibility at the end of the much anticipated and awaited New Year. What will definitely remain  with us is the joy the sorrow, the temptations, the delights, the sorrow, the mean actions, the cunning ways, the offsetting attitudes, the caring ones, the inbuilt rage, the cool tempers and the freshness of the morning when we wake up to the new year with new resolutions.

If only we are able to control our emotions, if only we are able to think clearer, if only we are more humble in our ways, if only we are more accommodative, if only we are more welcoming, if only we are indifferent to minor discrepancies, if only we could force a smile, if only we could spread our love, the New Year will be a lot more pleasant and the swan song at the end of the year will be less remorseful. This will make today’s adios more enriching and the anticipation more meaningful.

---WISH YOU ALL A WONDERFUL AND BLESSED NEW YEAR---

Robin Varghese- robin_vargh@yahoo.com

31^st December, 2013

 

Cleverer by half

Cleverer  by half

A lot has been said about the man, Arvind Kejriwal who was sworn in as the 7^th Chief Minister of Delhi today from the Ram Lila Maidan. Some call him opportunists, others call him brash and arrogant, and still others see in him a messiah of the common man, one among themselves who rose to prominence through unchartered territory and means untried. One who is destined to fulfil the limited aspirations of the common folk?

 

It remains to be seen if he can deliver what has been promised and to that extent the world’s eyes will be on this diminutive man, who plotted his way to the top.  I say plotted for want of a better word, because he plays his cards spontaneously. He is one who can spot a wedge and pry it open with his purposeful agenda. The man himself admits that he is a difficult person to be with what with his insistence on his methods which leave his followers with little choice.

 

That he has been successful speaks volumes about the man and his single minded determination to not let go of an opportunity. He has been able to pick on the gaps and turn it to his advantage when least expected by his opponents and critics. Wily, because he was always determined to reach the top using the legal framework and through legal means at the most opportunist moment. It would be foolish to think that he was never interested in any position of authority; the truth is he was always interested in growing but he used the pulse of the people and the helplessness of an electorate cleverly and with dogged determination to achieve his goals.

 

Even now he harbours a national agenda and is wily enough to be articulating his view points as that of the people, as if to suggest that if it cannot be done then it is the common man and his aspirations that would have failed and not him. He is a good hedger, able to hedge skilfully with the bets he places on his agenda.

 

Look at a few instances of somersault where he skilfully backtracked on his loud pronouncements only to roll back and propel the thrashed viewpoint in a new fashion almost cleverly hood winking the common man into believing that he has done something different. When the Anna Hazare movement for the Janlokpal began he took up the subject of corruption and how a strong Janlokpal bill would be the remedy as if it was a magic wand. They announced on stage that all politicians were corrupt, but within months he formed his own party stating the fact that he was challenged to change the system from within, so much so for politicians being corrupt.

 

Then look at the promise of reducing electricity tariff by 50% and providing 700 litres water free to every household in his manifesto, today he says that he has no magic wand and he needs time to bring about changes. He has already started to put across the viewpoint that if not 50% then a substantial reduction would be pursued. Again he said that he would not form a Government with the support of either the Congress or the BJP, but today he has very smartly used the Congresses’ letter written to the Lt. Governor as an excuse to form his own Government while propagating the view that whispers were growing louder that he was running away from his responsibilities.

 

This was the same man who had loudly viewed his take that if there is a hung house then re-election was the only alternative. This is the same man who once proclaimed from every available television top that both the main parties were corrupt and there was no way he would take their backing. Today he skilfully goes around this position and states that he is still not taking anyone’s support and all likeminded legislative members should support him in the interest of the nation. So shrewdly has he usurped the tag of the common man messiah that anyone who dares to differ will be tarnished as not siding with the upright and therefore leftover of the past, tainted and against the common man. The experience he has gained from being a street fighter stands him in good stead as far as understanding the pulse of the people is concerned and he is definitely a cleverer politician that the lot we have, and it is this that propels him to ‘push the envelope’ on every occasion without being challenged in the traditional way. 

 

It remains to be seen how he handles the enormous pressures that await him along with the preying eyes of the common man and the inquisitive media watching every step he takes while fervently praying for his success. However one thing is certain, no matter what ever may be the ultimate outcome of his stint as Chief Minister and his experiments with’ truth’, the common refrain is that he would be able to wriggle out of tight and seemingly impossible situations, simply because he happens to be a clever politician who is by far way ahead of the rest.

 

He has the knack or clever instincts of doing things the right way at the right time and is determined enough to shake off friends and opponents to pursue his own course even if it means parting ways with the likes of his onetime mentor and his ‘God’ Anna Hazare, even if it means rephrasing a thrashed agenda skilfully. All said and done the man has an extremely agile and ticking mind and it won’t be long before he becomes an inspirational speaker at top Management institutes.

Robin Varghese- robin_vargh@yahoo.com

28^th December 2013

Almost there

Almost there

The death of Nelson Mandela, and his subsequent farewell and burial was beamed live into our drawing rooms. Almost everyone agrees that the man was an inspiration to our souls; he was a proxy to many of us who only dream but fail to push those dreams into the realms of reality. Nelson Mandela also reminded us on what it takes to be compared with the great Mahatma Gandhi and what it takes to be chiselled into the pages of history.

Nelson Mandela has been epitomised not because he fought against apartheid or was the figure head of a struggle for equal rights. He was epitomised because of the method he choose for propagating his cause, the path of non-violence, the path of self-sacrifice. That is why he is compared to the very best, that is why he will be a part of history for ages to come. He has earned the distinction of being epitomised in a way that sets the rules for the future.

Actually if we think, most of us are Nelson Mandela’s in our own right, we have been fighting injustice to ourselves, to our family members, to our community, and some within the country and internationally, but none of us have been able to reach the standards set by this one man, because we have not inculcated self-sacrifice as one of the virtues. Imagine how lonely it would be to be placed in solitary confinement in a prison cell barely big enough to move around and stretch one self.

Imagine having to fight against one’s own consciousness to remain awake and alert to the outside world that is cut off from you. Imagine having to live with the cravings of an ordinary man and supressing it for the sake of his beliefs. Imagine being cut off from your loved ones, no touch or feel of your wife and kids. No soothing words, no high comments from your comrades, no proclamations of support, nothing to wake up to the morrow. Not for one or two but for an entire era for a torturous twenty seven long years.

How easy it is then to take a short cut, to fall victim to ones tormentors and their systematic chiding, to toe their line of deceit and short charge your own beliefs.  All one has to do is fall in line with the regime and lo! and behold he would have been a free man. How easy it would have been to serve a while and ask for freedom to be part epitomised into the minds of his people. All he had to do was ask and he would have instantly received with full gratitude to go along with it, but that would mean the end to his struggle and that of his people.

That would be the burial of his cause of seeing everyone equal in his country. That would be sending his ideals and beliefs to the gallows. That would be letting the world down.  It takes tremendous struggle, selfless sacrifice and a clear head to be able to withstand all this, even without guarantees that his cause would be fulfilled, that the climb would end someday successfully.

It was therefore very easy to fall prey to the guiles of the state as was in the case of Mikhail Khodorkovsky who served ten years in person and was taunted as the next Nelson Mandela for having taken on the might of Vladimir Putin the Russian President, against whom he had started a political campaign. He fought on ceaselessly and without remorse for a better part of the last ten years all through various indictments. He saw his vast oil empire fall before his own eyes, shattered and torn apart. Embezzlement and tax evasion charges were brought against him and he was brutally repressed for daring to take on the mightiest.

Yet he turned out to be a lesser mortal, an ordinary mortal like ourselves, except that he carried on the fight a little longer than us, except that he sacrificed his comforts for his beliefs a little longer than us, but he was unable to go over the hill whence from the top he could have had a smooth downhill ride. That is in fact the danger of carrying on a fight to derive a logical conclusion. Many a time all of us are faced with the practicality and reality of life and we make a compromise, an adjustment and pat ourselves on the back for having carried the fight thus far, for having waged a lonely furrow thus long and for being able to withstand the forces of opposition this while.

 Where we and Mikhail Khodorkovsky have failed is that we leave the fight midway to tend to our own, we seek to find a justification to deviate from the original ideas, and we are forced out of the race by circumstances. This is where Mikhail Khodorkovsky failed and that is why he failed to find a place among the mortals that is why he ends up being one of us. The climb to the top of the cliff is daunting, stiff and full of trouble. Your cup of woes may seem never ending. Friends and family leave you by the wayside. Comrades may be seen at a distance, but the tenacity of your belief and ideals and your methods have to stand the test of time.

Then alone would you be able to stand at the top and have an easy downhill ride. Then alone can you flag your cause rather than join the numerous people who started the journey but saw reasons to stop before reaching the peak. To be a Nelson Mandela one has to be a lonely traveller with only your beliefs and ideals for company and incur the wrath of the majority, believing in not achieving anything for yourself but destroying yourself for the restoration of your fellow beings. For, though you lose everything in your arduous battle and strenuous climb to the top, you would have won your soul and the hearts and minds of your people, while being able to claim your place in history.

Robin Varghese- robin_vargh@yahoo.com

Dated: 24^th December 2013

A personal touch

A Personal Touch

The recent elections in the five states across the northern and eastern part of the country has found the Congress wanting. Various reasons are attributed to this lacklustre showing, some say that this is because the Congress did not project a Chief Minister candidate; others say the party had become too arrogant, still others talk about the wrath of the people towards the central government, its paralysis and seemingly stirring the corruption broth.

The Congress wanted to devise schemes and tell the people about them. In the words of Narendra Modi the Congress party is showing the lion its gun license upon being confronted, when it should be shooting the malice and doing so in a firm and decisive way. Various schemes of the central government have been rushed keeping in mind the elections and some of them have not been able to grow roots in the hearts and minds of the people leave alone deriving substantial solace in the form of subsidised food or wages as guaranteed. The schemes on paper or the ground will not be able to fill the empty and starving bellies rather practical implementation and unbiased distribution keeping siphoning and pilferages to the minimum.

Look at the BJP, whose chief ministerial candidates have done intense reaching out to the people around their individual states. The victory of the Rajasthan Chief Ministerial candidate and her party can be attributed solely to reaching out to the people, rather than offering doles to the people. The Madhya Pradesh Chief minister and aspirant had a personal rapport going with the electorate, that is why in spite of many cabinet colleagues being corrupt, he was able to sway the vote of the citizens to his advantage. The same goes for the Chhattisgarh Chief minister and aspirant who is perceived to be the man in touch with the people. Contrast this with the Delhi Chief Minister who was seen as progressive and forward thinking but lacked the common touch with the people.

She should take a leaf out of the Chief Minister of Kerala Oommen Chandy who is going out to the whole of Kerala and meeting people to know their problems and their woes. In every camp set up by him there is an unending serpentine queue of people waiting to see him and tell him their woes. Things that can be dealt with then and there are committed by the Chief Minister instantly. This has given a feeling of personal communication with the masses. The public conceives him to be a leader who reaches out to the masses and takes extra pain to mitigate their problems and redress grievances. The problems he faces and is accosted with during these camps are more often personal, nothing that falls within his chief ministerial duties, but a patient ear helps in drowning the tears of discontent and suffering. This is why all tantrums thrown in by the opposition LDF do not hold well and peters away in quick time. Mass contact programme should be more about meeting the masses individually rather than gathering them together at an appointed place and time and whispering sweet nothings in the garb of speeches.

Everyone is looking for a shoulder to cry on, and whoever offers one is considered a friend sympathiser or plain considerate. The end result or a positive redress of his/her grievance is not so important in comparison to a shoulder to lean on, a person who will listen to you, someone who would seem non-judgmental irrespective of the nature and severity of one’s cry.

 This is why the former Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh, Mr Y S Rajshekara Reddy is still sought after today in the garb of his son Jagan Reddy. This is why Arvind Kejriwal is successful; this is why Sheila Dikshit in spite of being entrepreneur, inspiring and a progressive Chief Minister failed to carry the voters with her. If the Congress party wishes to put up a fight in the general elections scheduled for 2014, this is what its chief ministerial aspirants and central leadership must do, keep pace with the aspirations and woes of the people. Console them, Lend a patient ear, provide a warm hug or a handshake, be seen in their midst, rather than announce doles and lord over them from far quarters. At the end of the day what an ordinary citizen wants is not someone who can take away all his woes, but someone who seems eager to take away his woes, and for that the congressman has to be seen, with and amongst the people.

 Robin Varghese -- robin_vargh@yahoo.com

16^th December 2013

Missing the wood for the trees

Missing the wood for the trees

The curious case of the Indian deputy consular general Devyani Khobragade being strip searched arrested and processed with criminals and prostitutes for denying her maid Sangeeta Richard wages as per American law has been a hotly debated topic in the media and other relevant forums.

Panellists after panellists have been stressing on the need to defend the lady in question and seek repairable apology from the American side as also absolve her of the charges so that she can be brought back to India without any harm. Some others are discussing the reciprocator stand taken by the Indian Government, whether it is calibrated and on even keel, or what more needs to be done and a general feeling of tit for tit prevails.

I call it a curious case since, it is a well-known secret that maids sent from India are not paid as per American standards simply because it would amount to the maid seeking wages more than the principal herself, in the same way that American diplomats wives are working in the American school in violation of visa norms even while the Indian Government turns a blind eye.. This has been happening in the past and except for a couple of stray incidents in the past everything seemed to be hanky dory.

India being a soft state the panellists are arguing whether we should be seen as doubly bowing to the unreasonable needs of Americans serving in India, or should the extra benefits be withdrawn and make them at par with Indian officials serving in their country who have not privileges attached to their post.

As I write this post the Indian Government has cleared the barricades on the stretch of road that houses the American Embassy and its staff quarters. The exclusive parking has been turned into a public parking and the extra cautionary security protection stands withdrawn. Since it is only dawning in America the reactions are not forthcoming, but it is naturally going to hurt them since they are used to having their way, without reciprocating in any way. This is their way of saying that they are to be treated exceptionally without having to reciprocate in kind.

But even while all these strategies and counter strategies are being formulated and put into place, everyone seems to be sadly forgetting the source of all this chaos which is the maid herself, who is absconding for the last six months. One fails to understand why the American system is unable to repatriate her, even after the Indian Government has revoked her passport. The American system seems to be supportive of a seemingly rogue maid who has desecrated the Indian mind and national pride. The system has not even investigated official complaints from the Indian Government regarding blackmailing by the maid.

Not for once is anyone contemplating pressurising the maids husband who is residing in New Delhi, (breaking news states that the husband and two children of the maid has been discreetly sneaked into America even while the Indian courts contemplate punitive action against the maid) nor her relatives to force the maid to retract her complaint and to come back home. On the contrary reports suggest that the maid has been blackmailing Devyani with the demand of US Dollars 10000 and NOC to work in USA as well as Indian Passport. Absconders and rouges are treated differently under the Indian system and it should not be difficult for the Indian Government to bear pressure where it matters so that the maid relents.

Interestingly while everyone blames the American system, their arrogance and expectionalism, nobody seems to be pointing a finger at the maid whole had wowed to work for the consul general and return with her, when she clearly jumped her contract and absconded on reaching foreign shores and the lure of money. Isn’t the maid culpable of surrendering national pride? Shouldn’t she be ostracised for belittling the pride of her nation and isn’t this taking to the Indian psyche of immigrating to America and live the big American dream even if it means surrendering oneself to the forces of evil and deceit. And hasn’t individual aspirations of certain individuals not contributed to this problem? In fact the problem is about Indian and Indian mind set. The maid, who is looking for greener pastures and extra wages with support from the American legal system of help in bringing in her family, the prosecutor of Indian origin overzealous and wanting to prove his unbiased upbringing in order to be able to present this as credentials whenever he aspires for higher office, in other words promoting his aspirations at the cost of Indian pride. The origin of this episode is Indian and the American system has been used to conclude aspirations.

By debating the Vienna convention and reciprocal punitive action, we are conveniently side stepping the core issue of Indians wanting to live the American dream even at the cost of loss of prestige, family, shame in society or plain blackmailing one’s own citizen. So while we debate all issues the prime talking point should be about an Indian siding with the American system to degrade her country and its diplomat without so much as a thought to the irreparable damage to self-dignity and that of the country. And by not concentrating on this subject more prominently aren’t we missing the wood for the trees?

Robin Varghese – robin_vargh@yahoo.com

18^th December 2013

The Final Bow

The Final Bow

I had thought hard and long, for many days the pain and anxiety churned inside me, I had no option, I simply had to exit this world stage. Life had no meaning, inhaling and exhaling was now purely mechanical, no one would notice that it had stopped, no one -not even I.

My existence was only a piece of gold ornament that could be pawned to satisfy one’s financial need without having to make an effort to retrieve it, a piece of family silver that could be brought out and embellished whenever there was a family gathering. That this particular silver had long lost its sheen meant nothing to the exhibitors, the marked depreciation in its looks nobody was ready to fathom. The pain of the silver could not be explained with the severe scrubbing it received before every outing. It wanted to cry out to be left alone, to just let it be, no scrubbing, no attention, no vows, it only wanted to be withdrawn from public gaze, it wanted to be left alone in peace without having to pay for the joy of others.

How long would it have to stand in for the joy of others, how long would it have to sacrifice its being for others, was there no end to this, when would it dawn so that it could say enough is enough, from now on I am going to start afresh, from now on I am going to enjoy a little of the joys for myself. But alas, now it was impossible, I had got to the stage where all calculations led me to square one, I didn’t stand a chance, I was like a paper cup in the hands of my loved ones, one they would use and throw at their will and fancy, one that was destined to be crushed. I am tired of changing shape and colour to present myself before them so that they could drink out of my bounties. Somewhere along the way the propensity to live has been lost.

Looking around I found a long piece of cloth and proceeded to tie it high onto the ceiling fan. Having tied one end into a noose I stuck my head in. All that was left was the final kick, when the stool I was standing on had only to be kicked leaving me gasping and lunging for life. At that very moment memories flashed in my mind, what would they call my widow, my children, wouldn’t society refer to them as children of an ill-fated father who hung himself to escape life’s punishment.

I closed my eyes trying to shut out all thoughts. I consoled myself, hadn’t I thought over this for days, now why was I quivering. They say that only a coward commits suicide, he is a coward because he runs away from life’s problems, does not have the courage to face them like a man. Yes I am weak, the spirit is flickering like a candle in the wind, one hard blow and the light will be knocked out.

This wasn’t so some time back, I was a strapping young man eager to go out and capture the world. The materialistic gains that could be had from a life lived hard beckoned me, and I ventured out determined to slog my guts out to have them all. Along the way I tripped and fell way behind the others in this rat race. My loved ones were eager to have their pay checks every month irrespective of whether I earned it or not, whether I ate or starved, whether I was happy or sad. I yearned for the touch of my wife and kids for their warm and comforting embrace; I turned over in bed several nights in soulful misery unable to sleep. The sweet scent of my wife, the naughty but innocent look on the face of my kids all seemed to fade away.

The rare occasions I talked to them, no loving words were exchanged, we talked business like. I often thought on why I had come here, on what I had gained. In fact I had lost the closeness that once pulled me home from distant places where I used to work in my home country. I had purchased their joy having lost my own. Would I make it home, would my pleas be heard by my superiors, did I have the funds required to take me home. I tried to stave off every annual leave that would come up, counting on the money saved, money which could end my woes.

I sacrificed my worldly pleasures, my innate craving, and my physical yearnings. I told myself all this is temporary, when the money would be paid off; I would be in the clear and could go home as I pleased. I even thought of the various gifts that I would carry for my children. Some of them I had bought and stored under my bed for the D-day. Unfortunately the demands grew stronger and longer, shattering my dreams of a comeback. I tried to make life as pleasant as I could. The never ending demand for money and materials hasn’t ended; I am forced to forgo my personal pleasures to meet the demands of the family.

Last time I had gone home, my wife wanted to know when I would be going back, we even fought over the fact that all that I had provided for in these years of solitude did not measure up to her expectations, in fact there was more work to be done, probably I would have to be reborn to fulfill all aspirations. She even taunted me on the others who had done better. I wanted to smell the flowers in her hair, to touch her to embrace her to make me feel like a man, but discussions centered on materialistic gains.

Was this the way the world went about it chores? The tight embrace that I longed for, the physical proximity that I so much yearned for, the chance to kiss my wife and fondle her were all wasted in fights and inglorious missile of words to and fro. Of what use is this life for me, I feel I am being used, I have no personal wish, no personal preference, I am an outcast in my own home, everyone goes about their tasks, as if I am not wanted, as If I had over stayed my hospitality. I feel like an intruder in my own home, the very house I slogged to build into the home that it is now. I feel dejected, defeated, love has no more meaning, my big foot-LOVE, who cares, certainly not my own.

How can I make up, there doesn’t seem to be a chance, I am caught up in my own problematic maze. I feel like an animal trapped in a hunter net, the more I try to wriggle out the more I entangle myself. I yearn to get out, to break free from the bonds of insecurity, from the bonds of distrust, from the bonds of uneasiness, from the bonds of lost love.

I wish I could start all over again, I prayed for a miracle, some angel who would pull me out of this rut, oh, how I dreamt that some lottery would proclaim me as the winner. I wish I could rewind life to where it all began; I wish I was a child playing in the backyard oblivious of my surroundings. I wish I was born again. But deep inside me I know that I did not have another chance, life is lived only once, there was no way I could go back, I had made too many mistakes and now I must pay for it.

They say life is a great leveler, but it’s been far too long, far too much pain, no one to bid farewell to, no hugs and kisses, memories fade into the dark tunnel of my sub conscious mind, I must hurry, yes indeed it was time to close the chapter, on my life. The only way out was to be born again, I promise to do better next time, since this life has taught me valuable lessons, alas for that to happen, this one had to end, and to end this life all that was required was one last kick.

Robin Varghese

Mail to: robin_vargh@yahoo.com

(This article is inspired from the numerous instances of suicides taking place in the Middle East, all of south Asian laborers mainly Indian more so in the Kingdom of Bahrain)

Kicking my way to Heaven

Kicking my way to Heaven

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I used to walk to school hardly a km away from where I lived and used to be so carefree without a worry or a care about kicking pebbles or small stones along my path. It used to be so much fun, being able to aim a kick to an intended destination. Of course when I got home I used to look silly with the kick marks clearly visible over my finely polished shoes. The marks would be erased the next day with more sooth added to the leather. Those were the days I did not fear anything in my path, I could whistle, I could sing, I could throw pebbles or stones without reason at empty spaces and feel that I was growing up.

Though I was carefree my poor parents must have been utterly worried what with my shoes opening their mouth like a fish taken out of water. The Local cobbler had his day tied up with the little naughty ones all lined up with their mouth wide open waiting to be shut ready for another day of battle ample proof of our pastime. 

Those were the days when we all coexisted peacefully; there weren’t any cracks or divisions amongst us, even though we were of different religions and denominations. We all had fun and we all enjoyed our time under the sun. Never did I think that a day would come when I would have to keep my playful legs in check, or it would be blown up by roadside plants. I never dreamt of reaching heaven with a harmless kick that so reminded me of my childhood and those playful times.

Unfortunately I am now in heaven because I forgot that the world of today is highly explosive what with different sects and religions all trying to prove its superiority. Along the way I forgot that in trying to prove ones superiority the pebbles and stones on the way have changed to little handmade explosive devices. Was it my fault that I did not care to be troubled by the world, all I wanted was to earn a few bucks for the family and live life joyfully kicking about in a playful manner.

All I do now is pray in heaven “God forgive them for they do not know what they do”. By ‘they’ I mean all these destructive forces anywhere in the world that are out to kill one another. I pray for peace to return and a new dawn when my children would be able to kick around like me. I pray for the peace and calmness that once engulfed my childhood. I pray so that my children may experience what joy I had living life the way I lived. I shall keep praying for the others so that they do not end up like me.

Robin Varghese- robin_vargh@yahoo.com

This article appeared in the Daily Tribune, Bahrain dated 7^th November 2012

(inspiration from little roadside bombs going off in Bahrain as a new ploy by the fighting parties to reassert their prominence and of people dying from just kicking something that seems harmless)

Reflections of an officer

Reflections of an officer

I wake up at 4.30 AM hardly having had a good night’s sleep. The scenes of yesterday keep rewinding in my head all night, after all I had just buried one of my pals in the forces before going off to sleep. His cries for help and his helplessness showed up in my mental canvas,

I felt a little jittery going out to report but a job was a job and had to be done well. At the end of the day a job done well in the day allows me a good night’s sleep, except when incidents like these mar my nights. I ask myself why I am the target of vandalism and mayhem. I immediately reprimand myself for thinking this way, since it is akin to being in the army and praying that you may never have to be on the front, akin to rowing a boat tied to the bank.

I had always fancied being a police officer, a handsome 20’s something, with tucked in belly, lean but strong arms and hands, swift on foot, taking in the landscape with my gaze, dark glasses to comfort me from the distant but burning sun, and a small firearm hanging lazily on its holster strung across my waist for company. My cap perched obediently on my head with its shade tapering over my eyes would complete this grand picture that would turn many an eye in my direction. I would be prone to inviting looks from the opposite sex, and I would derive this unsettling sense of joy, unsettling because it would enormously enhance my reputation and worth in my own eyes. Young ones would look to me with respect, admiration and a sense of awe.

With this image I could give strong competition to the cowboys in western classics, (except that we are not allowed to be trigger happy) what a fulfilling existence with the satisfaction derived out of serving one’s own country. What hurts me though is the senseless and seamless violence on the streets by a few people, young enough to be my brothers and similar to my next door neighbors kids. Some so young that they could be blown away in a strong wind. I have had to use force intermittently and sparingly, but the bloodletting cringes me and my head reels at the sight of blood.

I realize that it is someone’s son, brother, husband friend or neighbor that is injured due to my action, but what to do if I didn’t I wouldn’t being doing justice to my role, I wouldn’t be earning my salary. There is a difference between getting and earning my salary, getting is mechanical while earning is compulsive. My job is to stop and control lawlessness and ensure the law of the land rules large. No exceptions neither for me, my kin, friends or acquaintances. Still when I see this kind of madness on the streets, I wonder if all this is necessary. Do we have to let blood to score our points?

After all, the colour on both sides is red and unites us to the core human being. Whether it is a terrorist or soldier the colour of his blood remains the same, all are related to someone on this earth be it in the form of father, husband, brother, friend or acquaintances. I wish there was a truce, an attempt to reconcile from both sides, I wish I could stand like a cowboy in the movies without being concerned about missiles directed at me, I wish I could stare back at the lovely ones and dream of being the charming prince, I wish I did not have to wield a baton leave alone a pistol. Oh, if only things would return to normal, and I could be allowed to continue with my dreams.

There is a nip in the air as I step out of my house for the day’s work and think whether more of this precious colour be spilt on the streets today, because of our difference in opinions, to prove our points do we have to shed blood, can’t we process issues in peace, what if we don’t, the land will be coloured in red and no one would be able to differentiate between the stalker or the stalked, the enemy or the friend, the attacker or the defender, the right or the wrong for blood has only one colour- Red anywhere and everywhere in this world irrespective of where it flows from.

 

Robin Varghese

Mail to: robin_vargh@yahoo.com

(This article is based on the internal strife in Bahrain and how the poor policemen bear the brunt of opposition attack)

You get what you deserve

You get what you deserve

How often have we sat back with dismay and disdain at the actions and cockiness of our political class? How often have we been left stranded without an explanation as to the logic of certain decisions taken by them? How often have we considered painting them all with the same brush simply because there is a common finality in all their actions? Think a while and ponder if anyone is different including the ones like the newly formed Aam Aadmi Party (AAP).

They all claim to be different from the others; they all claim to act differently from the others; they all claim not to encourage nepotism, dynasty and follow the rule book. But facts are different and do not reflect their initial exuberance and clean speak. The AAP candidate Santosh Kohli died in an accident and the party names her brother as the candidate- why? Obviously to garner sympathy votes and work on the legacy of the lady who passed away, being an active member and staunch supporter of the righteous.

How can the AAP claim to be different from other parties? All the national parties blame the Congress of dynasty politics, but aren’t they themselves with the probable exception of the Marxist party following the same path. Lalu Yadav when out of power anoints his wife. Now he has inducted his children into the fold. Mulayam Singh has made his son the Chief Minister of one of the largest states of the country. He goes one up by appointing his brothers in prominent positions in the party and his daughter in law (son’s wife) into parliament. The Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) has the same problem in numerous states where the father son duo in Himachal and Husband wife duo in Kerala are only some of the examples. The Marxist, somehow seem to have been able to buck the trend.

Double speak- All parties are famous for their doubles speak, they will go hammer and tong at their rivals when it suits them and remain passive when their own members or sympathizers are involved. The AAP had members been questioned on certain land deals, the party is yet to come clean on this. They famously claimed to fight for the lokpal and vowed to install one in their own party. Unfortunately we fail to hear anything from them on purported questionable land deals of their members in Mumbai. They however have the cheek to question the land deals of others including. Robert Vadra. The appointment of lokpal in Gujarat was challenged by the government and the lokpal appointee put in his papers out of sheer frustration.

The BJP famously unleashes its women brigade in case of rape and molestation when other party members are involved, but chooses to stay silent when their own backer a fraud god man Asaram is allegedly involved. Here they say law will take its own course. Why should the law take its own course only in the case of Asaram and not when the leader of a rival party had been involved?

Organising funds for elections- Here in spite of the election commission’s directives, all parties spend more than the sanctioned limits and cheekily admit to it in public forums. The AAP has just got into the mode and we have to wait to pass a judgment in this context. So what is different in any party? It is very hard to spot the difference; they all behave the same, speak the same language and bare their claws in the same manner. Or is it that to be in politics you have to follow the old phrase ‘when in Rome do as the Romans do’?

It is the public who are foolish to think that anyone is going to be different, because what we forget is that the leaders come out of society a society that you and I are represented in. Charity begins at home, so let everyone strive to make the changes that he wants to see in society in him/her to be able to crave for changes in society. Leaders, parties and ways will not change unless we ourselves as individuals change and thereby change society.

Robin Varghese

Mail to: robin_vargh@yahoo.com

30^th August 2013