So Long Daddy

So long Daddy

As the night descends on the last day of the year and as celebrations reverberate in the air, when crackers sound in the distance and the year 2016 gets swallowed by the youthful morning of the New year, I sit down to bid a final farewell to my dear father who left me exactly nine days to the beginning of this New year.

The year gone by had begun with hope and promise which gradually descended into disarray. The moorings of life was inadvertently giving way to the hazards of tomorrow and the promises that seemed so sensuous and charming had begun to wither with the evening dusk. Fate seemed to have singled me out for the strapping of a teacher seething with fury, the ignominy of having to plough alone through the difficult terrains of life.

Just when everything seemed to be so afar, came the little beam of hope through the unlikeliest crack in the window, that helped me cling to a fading hope outside the mental makeup of my little mind. This crack soon seemed to give way in proportions that soothed my jarred mind and senses. The hope that had withered away seemed to suddenly spring up like a newly discovered spring of water.

I freshened to start anew the purpose that had outlived itself, the cascading effects of lady luck that had started to smile at me seemed heartening from the occasional winks that was previously unsure. The steps seemed firmer and the end seemed to be happier. Circumstances too seemed to relive as if awakening from a deep slumber and gather momentum.

Then suddenly the dark clouds descended with a thundering effect that left me stunned and dazed to a point of being disoriented. The howling turned into wailing as I received news of my father having passed on, in this world. The hopes turned into desperation, the memories dug deep into the depths of childhood archives.

The tears refused to flow while my memory was awash with life with Dad. The joy the peace, the ecstasy the exuberance, the innocence, the trust, the loyalty, the fondness, the reprimands, the laughs, the day outs, the tempers, the shrill cry, the pain amidst the never ending shield of a protecting father all came flowing through the shadows of my mind which somehow in the end seemed to extract a price in the warm tears that seemed to flow without provocation.

I am left marooned with the protector gone never to come back again. How I wished my Dad would give me a sly wink while he lay in the coffin. How I would steal a glance at my Dad now lying still to see if he had wanted to part his lips to offer final words as a lasting succor. Even while he was being carried to his final resting place I had hoped against hope that he would somehow get across to me even while the mourning procession made its way through the rural landscape.

The relation between us refused to be buried, though they placed him six feet under. I was able to snatch away our cord of communication; those lines will never snap and will serve well into the time I am devoured by mother earth. The tears have dried and life goes on.

I am aware of the crackers going off in the neighborhood, I can feel the winter chill, the freshness of the night converting into day, the darkness being enveloped by the morning hope and the year that is to be. So long Dad- farewell and rest in peace till we meet again.

31^st Dec 2016

Pulladu